Do you ever have that feeling when you can feel your heart sink, and almost as if your stomach is turning into a a raisin. That was me all day today. I had that feeling when I sat there in a cold, old book smelling high school. Where if you still have friends and are not doubting everything your a lucky one. I didn’t sit with my friends at lunch today because of my classes. Yet I could feel it, I could feel them talking about me, one of them bringing up the topic of my presence, and the other two just feeding into it. Little did I know, they were talking about me. The last 3 hours of school were dreadful, having my so called friends look at me with that fake stale smile, and create conversation just so then they have something else to say about me the next day. Its becoming easier to become mad. I guess my brother who is in college is having some doubts, and wants to meet his birth parents. I didn’t know that was the case until my mom came into my room telling me, it was all a blur, until I yelled and she walked away. I couldn’t see her face but I could sense that she is confused and just as concerned as i am. My life as gone from closed to some, to locked shut to everyone. I can’t let anyone, not for them to get hurt by me and my problems, but for me, to not get hurt by them because we all know nothing is permanent. Not even happiness.